There is genuine unconditional support, and then there is dysfunctional support which is rooted in feelings of insecurity and a need for seeking validation. It may look like support on the outside, but if it’s coming from a dysfunctional place, it’s the subtle manipulation of “giving to receive.”
Feeling unloved, unwanted or unnecessary is an indication that we have fallen into the need for outward validation (that is, validation from others). What we need is a change in perception and to self-validate by choosing to know and Remember that we come from God, and that we are Good and we deserve Good. Whenever we are feeling low or “off” or bad about ourselves, simply Ask God for a change in Perception.
The experience of Unhappiness is linked to a belief in “not having what we need.” And not having what we need comes from either not Asking for it or from Resisting it being given to us (in other words, not receiving it). When we’ve lived a pattern of Not Having, it takes courage to be New and to choose to Ask and Receive. Let go of the fear of Asking for what is needed and the the fear of allowing yourself to Receive it (and to receive Good and to receive God’s Love). Realize you are worth Loving and that you deserve every bit of God’s Love, and Good, and Grace, and true Happiness.
In every moment we have free will and the choice of who and how we will Be. We can either choose to be Fear, or we can choose to be Love. And what we choose to be is Reflected in (and as) our experience of Life. Are you choosing to be Love and all that it is, or are you choosing to be Fear? Choose to live Life as one of the many expressions of Love – joy, happiness, support, fun, acceptance, achievement, etc. – instead of living Life as one of the many expressions of Fear – pain, unhappiness, worry, defeat, victim, “less than,” not good enough, not worth having, undeserving, etc. Simply know it in your Heart. Exhale. And Ask to be Love. Ask for “being Love.”
When we begin to take an inventory of the areas in our Life we are looking to make New, it can sometimes get a little overwhelming and we may not know where to start. In these instances it is helpful to make a list of what needs cleaning up in our world and then categorize this list by “most crucial,” “somewhat crucial,” and “least crucial.” This frees us to focus on just the most crucial matters in this moment, and where we need to, Ask God for help and to show us the way.
We can not change who we were, but we can change who we are now and therefore who we will become. It can be a mental and emotional habit to hold on to “who and how we were” or “how it’s always been,” and it leads to believing ourselves to be stuck in a Life that we feel powerless to change. But this is only because our thoughts about Life and ourselves are stuck in and attached to the past, which means we are literally “living in the past.” But by realizing the past is just history and no longer matters, like a collection of old movies we are no longer interested in or choose to watch, we free ourselves from what has been and are able bring our Awareness to the present moment where we are truly empowered to be New and create real change.